i like elephant seals IN THEORY cos they look so goofy but every time i watch any documentary about them all they do is fuck and fight extremely graphically and disgustingly to the death so i’m deeply afraid of them
I just googled “why do elephant seals fight” and got a video of one bashing himself in slow, rhythmic, dead-eyed crashes against a truck only slightly larger than itself while said owner just stood to the side, a defeated, perplexed look on his face
They felt the pain of existence and search for the sweet release of death
they felt the pain of
existence and search for the
sweet release of death
^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.
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i keep thinking about that tribe of baboons where all the alpha males died from eating poison garbage and then the baby boy monkeys were taken care of by the lady monkeys and never got socialized to be aggressive so they all just live peacefully and groom eachother instead of fighting and killing eachother and its been generations of that, it only took 1 wipeout of the aggressive males to change the whole social order of the species i am crying they must be so much happier
……….I have an idea.
don’t we all
You’re missing half the story.
When adolescent males from other groups came to join, they learned very rapidly that being an arsehole baboon wasnot fucking tolerated, and completely stopped the behaviour and integrated with the group.
Arseholes only thrive when you let them.
Only the aggressive males died; the non-aggressive ones didn’t go on garbage dump raids and so they survived just fine. This was about half the adult males in the troop. The suddenly-without-mean-competition males didn’t get aggressive and take over and start being giant jerks; they stayed the same pleasant baboons they had always been.
The researcher studying this troop was asked what he had learned about stopping violence in society and he said “Kill all the aggressive young males” and I think about that a lot.
When you’ve dedicated your life to words, it’s important to go out eloquently.
Ernest Hemingway: “Goodnight my kitten.” Spoken to his wife before he killed himself.
Jane Austen: “I want nothing but death.” In response to her sister, Cassandra, who was asking her if she wanted anything.
J.M Barrie: “I can’t sleep.”
L. Frank Baum: “Now I can cross the shifting sands.”
Edgar Allan Poe: “Lord help my poor soul.”
Thomas Hobbes: “I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap into the dark,”
Alfred Jarry: “I am dying…please, bring me a toothpick.”
Hunter S. Thompson: “Relax — this won’t hurt.”
Henrik Ibsen: “On the contrary!”
Anton Chekhov: “I haven’t had champagne for a long time.”
Mark Twain: “Good bye. If we meet—” Spoken to his daughter Clara.
Louisa May Alcott: “Is it not meningitis?” Alcott did not have meningitis, though she believed it to be so. She died from mercury poison.
Jean Cocteau: “Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking towards me, without hurrying.”
Washington Irving: “I have to set my pillows one more night, when will this end already?”
Leo Tolstoy: “But the peasants…how do the peasants die?”
Hans Christian Andersen: “Don’t ask me how I am! I understand nothing more.”
Charles Dickens: “On the ground!” He suffered a stroke outside his home and was asking to be laid on the ground.
H.G. Wells: “Go away! I’m all right.” He didn’t know he was dying.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: “More light.”
W.C. Fields: “Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it except you, Carlotta!” “Carlotta” was Carlotta Monti, actress and his mistress.
Voltaire: “Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.” When asked by a priest to renounce Satan.
Dylan Thomas: “I’ve had 18 straight whiskies…I think that’s the record.”
George Bernard Shaw: “Dying is easy, comedy is hard.”
Henry David Thoreau: “Moose…Indian.”
James Joyce: “Does nobody understand?”
Oscar Wilde: “Either the wallpaper goes, or I do.”
Bob Hope: “Surprise me.” He was responding to his wife asking where he wanted to be buried.
Roald Dahl’s last words are commonly believed to be “you know, I’m not frightened. It’s just that I will miss you all so much!” which are the perfect last words. But, after he appeared to fall unconscious, a nurse injected him with morphine to ease his passing. His actual last words were a whispered “ow, fuck”
Salvador Dali hoped his last words would be “I do not believe in my death,” but instead, they were actually, “Where is my clock?”
Emily Dickinson: “I must go in, the fog is rising.”
Tag yourself. I’m HG Wells.
I’m James Joyce
No, but no one is explaining Ibsen!!
He had been really fucking sick for days, and woke up from a feverish night. His nurse? Wife? Asked him if he was feeling better. He smiled, said “On the contrary!” And died.
Supreme power move from my man Ibsen.
Voltaire: “Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies.” When asked by a priest to renounce Satan.
I love them so much because they’re about as sharp as a baseball and their anatomy is ridiculous to the point of them literally being classified as plankton for years because they just sort of get blown around by the ocean and look confused, but because they lay more eggs than ANY OTHER VERTEBRATE IN EXISTENCE, evolution can’t stop them
Why is no big predator coming and gnawing on them?
Their biggest defense is that they’re massive and have super tough skin, but they do get hunted by sharks or sea lions sometimes and they just sort of float there like ‘oh bother’ as it happens
Even funnier, because they eat nothing but jellyfish they’re really low in nutritional value anyway, so they basically survive by being not worth eating because they’re like a big floating rice cracker wrapped in leather.
So basically the only reason natural selection hasn’t taken care if them is because they are the most useless fish
yes, they’ve perfected uselessness to the point of being unstoppable
The policy position for a president Sanders or any Dem who gets the nomination and dares call themselves a progressive should be the continuation of the policy Trump stumbled into which is do nothing and let the two Koreas self-determine. Just without the drunken twitter threats!
All the credit to the Moon administration for rebuking Trump & Co’s threat of a preemptive strike and signaling to Kim that the South is willing to negotiate independent of any directives from Washington!
if a teenager is at your door and they are wearing a costume!! please give them candy!! they are still in it for the halloween spirit and it honestly no different from a little kid in a costume. they are just as excited and happy as all the other lil tykes and dont you dare tell them they are “too old for trick-or-treating” because that will literally break their hearts and that’s not cool.
Its getting close to Halloween again so I just thought I’d reblog this again
And if “don’t be rude to teenagers over a stupid jawbreaker” isn’t enough for you, consider
You can’t tell how old a kid is just by looking. I’ve known multiple 5th graders who were taller than I am, and I’m 25 years old. With their faces hidden by masks, you won’t be able to tell they’re elementary schoolers, but they still are.
Lots of older siblings are expected to take their younger siblings trick-or-treating, and they only get paid in candy.
You don’t know if that teenager is developmentally disabled.
You don’t know if that teenager spent most of their childhood in a hospital or sick and has never had the traditional trick-or-treat experience before.
You don’t know if this is that teenager’s first Halloween in America, and they just want to experience a piece of American culture.
You don’t know if that teenager ever gets candy any other day of the year.
You don’t know if that teenager has eaten anything at all today.
And those are just things I can think of off the top of my head.
Also older teens/adults who trick-or-treat might have grown up in fundamentalist religious sects that believed that Halloween was satanic. Don’t fucking judge people it’s not that hard.
oh god I swear if you can’t give a fucking teenager a piece of candy please just consider this as well:
halloween is one of the only bonding experiences a lot of teens get with their siblings. my sister gave me all her candy the night it was deemed that I became too “old” for halloween, then cried because she wanted to have some, but knew the holiday was ruined for me and thought I “deserved” candy. she had more heart than the adults at the homes where we trick or treated.
halloween is also a bonding experience for most teens and their friends. many of them dump a lot of their own hard-earned money into costumes. as someone who used to babysit and tutor and wash cars for money to get myself a costume, it’s really disheartening to have the door slammed in your face.
a lot of teens’ families can’t afford “halloween parties” or any other teenaged alternative. my family could never afford one of those, so our only means of celebrating was to trick-or-treat.
would you rather that teenager go out and get smashed at a halloween party with kids their age and older, dressed in degrading costumes, which could end in disaster?
that older teen might be trick or treating for a younger sibling who was too sick to come out. I knew a girl who was 17, went out for her little sister who was in the hospital getting surgery, and got the door slammed in her face and a treat bag quarter way full.
it’s not that hard to give a fucking polite (only the polite ones) teenager a piece of candy. jesus fucking christ.
“””Alternative pronouns were only invented on Tumblr”””?
Gee, I had no idea Tumblr was around in 1858 when Charles Crozat Converse first thought up thon/thons/thonself… considering how much Tumblr has decayed over the years, I assume this site was fully functional back then
Bringing this post back because it’s been getting notes again and I find histories of alternative pronouns really interesting
There was also hiser around the time of thon, which I forgot about while making the original post!!!!! Not sure how to conjugate hiser but it was coined :0
I can’t find singular articles about hiser BUT!!!! It’s included in larger ones if you google for “hiser pronoun”! Larger articles state even more archaic alternative pronouns but I’m mentioning hiser specifically because again, it was coined around the time of thon
October 14, 1977, Anita Bryant is pied for her antigay bigotry at a press conference in Des Moines, IA.
It was 40 years ago today…
Never gets old.
40 years on and it still is gratifying
Anita’s still alive and kicking and being anti-gay. Thom Higgins, who threw the pie when he was 27 – and was poetically from Beaver Dam – passed away 17 years later at 44. Info on his life is here. The pie throwing was a big deal. In an age before the internet let gays feel connected, and long before ACT UP, the pie showed small pockets of gays that we could fight back.
I can’t believe that the government is watching our every move and yet they refused to warn me that I was about to walk into a Panera where THREE of my exes were working together.
Hey, the government? You could’ve texted me. You’ve got GPS; they’ve got their jobs on Facebook; I know you know we dated. You knew, you have the technology, and you just let me walk in there, make eye contact with them, and walk out without ordering anything. Fuck you. I hate this country.
My favourite thing about the tags and replies on this post is that they’re full of people legitimately slut-shaming me for having dated three people who ended up working at the same place. Like I’m some compulsive bread whore. Like I just shoved a whole Panera up my ass one day.
Do straight people not understand the small town phenomena where 1.) there are a maximum of ten LGBT+ people that you’re even vaguely compatible with, and so you all just end up dating each other at one point or another, and 2.) word gets around that the manager of a specific business isn’t a blatant homophobe, and so it ends up becoming staffed entirely by LGBT+ people despite not being an inherently gay establishment? You guys don’t just have, like, that one Taco Bell where everyone is a lesbian?
My new favourite part about the tags on this post is everyone either tagging this as stuff like, “we don’t have a lesbian taco bell but we have a trans petsmart” and “oh you mean the five guys where everyone’s bi yeah we have that”, or straight cis people being all, “UGH THE GAYS ALWAYS THINK THEY’RE SO SPECIAL. THERE ARE BUSINESSES WHERE EVERYONE IS STRAIGHT, TOO,” as though anyone would ever come out to someone who felt like that comment necessary.
Doesnt change the fact that putting “gay” and “lesbian” on the same chart is redundant and there’s no reason to keep straight people out of it. Why not make a meme that everyone can relate to and share? Why do we always need to split each other apart? That’s my take on it.
I already rb’d this but oh my god
I don’t want to complain but as a Straightie™, I always feel really left out whenever these charts are posted? The closest I can get to is bi, it’s not fair AT ALL.
It’s fine to make jokes about “Offending those Darn Straights” or whatever but something that’s supposed to be a community joke (or whatever this is supposed to be) just leaves us as hurt and left out as you guys probably feel irl (considering that hets actually make up the majority of the population)
you deserve to feel left out for making me read this dumbass comment
gay people: here’s a meme for gay people by gay people, for us gay people to enjoy since we dont really get many things of our own and we like to have in-jokes for our own community. have fun with it haha
straight people, as if everything in the world isnt already heterosexual all the fucking time because they bud into lgbt+ stuff to Hetero-ify it:
Procrastination Station 