permian-tropos:

mudkippey:

permian-tropos:

first-order-recreation-dep:

crimsonshadowhunter:

sweet-refractor:

batlock:

permian-tropos:

Headcanon: General Hux drives like a lunatic if he’s piloting a speeder. Nothing fancy, nothing showy, not out of enjoyment either, just way WAY too fast. Starkiller Base is a big planet and sometimes you gotta get places and he just guns it. When he takes off he bumps into other speeders, nearly runs over troopers, and accelerates like a cannon. Nyoom. There he go. When he comes in to park he doesn’t slow down until the last possible second and veers into his spot, probably scraping the ground. He steps out and is completely unruffled, looking slightly pissed off as usual. Anyone else who accompanied him is kissing the sweet sweet earth and thanking the Force they lived.

Corollary headcanon: he freezes up when he has to pilot a spaceship and double-checks every safety precaution. No one understands why. The man is a paradox.

Not only is he way too fast, but when he has to deal with other people and speeders, he suffers from the most terrifying road rage. It’s gotten to the point where people are genuinely afraid to be in a vehicle with him. Basically [x]

Hux doesn’t even utter a sound during his bouts of road rage; he doesn’t have to. He’s a man possessed, grinning like a demon & totally fixated on whoever/whatever inspired his wrath.

Legend has it that, during his rise through the ranks, several of Hux’s commanding officers had the distinct misfortune of being on the business end of his speeder. Furthermore, when asked about this by an upstart officer, Hux simply gave a brief, yet detailed, lesson on human anatomy & its woeful inability to withstand various forces; to wit, “if I struck you with my speeder, Thompson, your body would rupture explosively & there wouldn’t be enough gore left to fill a canteen in which to bury you.”

What can be confirmed, however, is the number of speeders that the general’s put out of commission. One speeder’s engine spontaneously combusted before Hux could even start it up, & many believe that it died of fright at the prospect of being piloted by General Hux.

It’s become a rite of passage for ‘troopers to accompany Hux on speeder-rides across the base; those that can complete the journey without soiling themselves or bawling for their Captain are hailed & revered as Champions.

Omg I’m crying 😂

Hux is terrifying

it’s time to reveal that the corollary headcanon has something to do with how I wrote his mother’s death

edit: wait wait actually the whole headcanon is about his maternal line I forgot that part

I mean if something goes wrong in a spaceship you’re fucked. Unlike a speeder what is outside the vehicle (space) can and will kill you. I’d be scared of something going wrong too.

I imagine you can absolutely die crashing a speeder but I understand why space would be more dire

it doesn’t change the headcanon-canon explanation, as I said, so I’d classify your addition as a headcanon headcanon