when they were prepping me for the surgery the nurse put one of those cloth hats over my head to keep the hair out of my face
she said “here’s your party hat”
and i was already trippin balls so I said
“yaAAY paaaarty”
and wiggled around on the table like a gleeful slug
i think about this post sometimes and it makes me grin like a dope
Tag: literally danny phantom
me after summoning a malevolent entity: hey man wanna go furniture shopping? it’ll be sexy i promise
someone *hurts me emotionally*
me “lmao!! omg”
grandma: so do you have a boyfriend yet?
me: not in this economy
this guy i dont even know or follow just started talking to me on insta i hate this
yeah, you like halloween, but would you




